I have just received an email from myself. But no, it’s not one of those times when you forward an email to your inbox to save yourself a copy, and neither one of those control freak habits of checking how your email is going to look like to the one you're sending to and so you send it to yourself first.
Two years ago I found a website called FutureMe.org which allows you to send an email to yourself anytime in the future. I find the idea interesting because it makes you think about what you want to tell yourself 5 or 10 years from now in the second person point of view:
“Hi Kat, how’s your vacation in Europe going? Probably you’re having a romantic getaway with your hubby on your first year anniversary!”
Fun right? It’s like practising your fortune telling powers on yourself. But if these self prophesies do not happen and you receive an email from your past self to affirm such inaccuracies or overestimations, then I don't think it will be that fun anymore. Instead it might turn out to be funny because you like a fool with this reply:
“Haha what anniversary are you talking about?! Ugh you mean my mum and dad's anniversary?”
So today, I received this email I have made on 16th of November 2009. Yes, two long years and now here it is!! I was quite scared on the sight of it because aside from forgetting that the day shall come for me to read it- I know it's going to burst my bubble.
So what did my 23 year old self two years ago told 25 year old self now?
I think I was congratulating myself in advance for having a stable life, and in my own terms that simply means being financially independent above anything else. Just like how any Taurean defines security.
I knew for sure is that aside from being an insomniac nothing really changed about me or the things I wanted in life. I still want to be 'Carrie Bradshaw-esque' fabulous, rich, successful and all that jazz. I know I won't be surprised on what I'll read from my past self, I was rather scared because I know have let myself down again.
How will I explain to my past self that things didn't work out exactly the way she wanted it?
They say that the future is always promising because it gives us hope- that things will get better than they are now. But sometimes that’s not always the case because things could always get worse. Disappointed on how I did not live up to the expectations of my past self, I pondered instead.. what would my future self tell to my present self?
And I was surprised to realise that nothing was ever lost- that all those tears, struggles and heartaches might be useful one day and become a foundation for something greater. I'm not sure but I think I heard the future me whisper: "Put on a smile. The game is not yet over."